Ripe.

It's weird because...I think I'm going through somewhat of a transition in my life.

I look around and all I see are people who I cannot stand the thought of. Congrats, you go out and get shitfaced 4 times per week. You know what? Right now I'm completely satisfied with going out once, maybe twice, per week and having one or two drinks. I'm just so tired. I can't live like this anymore.

I don't have the energy to put up with people anymore. Right now I'm at a point in my life where I would rather stay in and watch a movie than go out to a party. I'm maturing, I guess.

I spoke with some teammates today, the conversation went a little something like this:
Me: I don't think I want to go out tonight.
A: Yeah, me neither.
Me: It's come to the point where I'm just too tired to go out.
D: I agree, it takes a lot out of you.
A: Yeah it totally does.
Me: We're getting old. My body can't deal with drinking anymore. I'm thinking about doing a semi-dry season this year.
D: Me too. I don't want to drink...only occassionally, you know?
Me: I agree. I'm too old for this shit...


On another note. I was hitting today and my shoulder popped. It is very rare. But it happens usually at least once per season. It was extremely painful. I'm going to be sore, I know that. There's nothing I can do. I'm not going to tell the coaches or anyone because that will create more problems. For now I'll just deal and put on lots and lots of ice. Woo hoo.

Desperate.

All I want to do is go to this cafe. What the heck.

It's in the Home Dairy Co. building on State St., it's called the Mate Factor. But there's a little accent on the E, so it's pronounced, "mat-ay".

It's run by a cult called Twelve Tribes. They have a cafe located in Plymouth, and they are the most friendly people EVER!!! If you befriend them, they invite you for a delicious dinner at their house. And they have the BEST bread...mmm.

I'm ready to go by myself, damnit.

Oh, it's been a while.

Been doing some thinking. I was told today that I "skate through life", referring to how I perform at Cornell.

Fuck yes I do. My motto is to work smart, not hard. Does it really even matter in the end? I still get my diploma, so long as I have a passing GPA.

And really, later on in life, this is how I see things:
I'm in an interview. There's two people interviewing for this position...myself and another. So-and-so person #2 went to a DIII no-name college and graduated with a 3.7 (woop dee fucken doo).

Now, here I am. I've got a good personality. AND my resume says I graduated from Cornell fucken University, the DI Ivy powerhouse, making no-name over there look as insignificant as an ant. Do the grades I got matter in this interview? No. Because I still have a piece of paper with my name on it that says that I graduated from Cornell.

I'm pompous as fuck sometimes, but I have every right to be. Just look where I go to school, bitch.


So fuck all of you.

Before everything, I remember this.

"I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
'Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road,
I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down."

Survey says...

Will you be looking for a new job? Nope, love my job. Event staff, what?

Will you be looking for a new relationship? Already have one :) just gotta play my cards right this time

New house? Nah 711 is where it's at.

What will you do different in 2009? Put myself before others, instead of acting like a door mat.

New Years resolution? Play the field.

What will you not be doing in 2009? Sucking at softball/life lol

Any trips planned? Well if you count all the places we got for softball...lots of places.

Wedding plans? fuck no

What's on your calendar? About 50 games. Trip to San Fran, eventually. Turning 21.

What can't you wait for? Turning 21 in July. Can't wait for season to start.

What would you like to see happen different? Lets win fucken Ivies this year.

What about yourself will you be changing? A lot of shit

What happened in '08 that you didn't think would ever happen? I dated a straight girl. Never again. hahahahahahah J/K

Will you be nicer to the people you care about? Of course, unless they deserve otherwise.

Will you dress differently this year than you did in 08? I'm gonna try to wear jeans more. But I'm definitely not leaving behind the teagle sweats and cornell softball gear lol

Are you going to be in school in 09? Unfortunately.

How will you make more money in 09? EVENT STAFF, bitch. Hoodrat shit.

Will you do charity work? Yeah with the team

Will you be nice to people you don't know? Of course.

Do you expect 2009 to be a worse year for you than 2008? No, 2008 fucken sucked. I'm gonna pretend it didn't happen. Nowhere to go but up.

How much did you change from this time last year til now? A little bit. I dont know, I'm a year older.

Do you plan on having a child? Not this year, but eventually.

Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now? Hopefully, I love my friends.

Major lifestyle changes? Nah, still in school. But I am turning 21.

Will you be moving? Nope, p-rock and ith is where I'm at.

What will you make sure doesn't happen in 2009 that happened in 08? I dont even want to get into it. 2008 didn't even happen, remember?

Wishes for 2009: Live life to the fullest. Win. Succeed.

Stolen. (Note the clever double meaning behind that word)

"I just want to say, before I fuck up and lose it, that this feeling? Is a very, very, very fine feeling.

And that if I DO fuck up and lose it...I should remember how great it is to wake up with butterflies and bite your nails by the phone and say good night."