In case you didn't know

You're clingy and you get attached too soon and too easily.




That may help you in your travels.

If you wanted a song about you, all you had to do was ask!

I'm throwing away pictures that I never should have taken in the first place. It's cold in my apartment as I'm changing all the colors from the brightest reds to grays.

I hope this makes you happy now, that the flame we had is burning out. I hope you like your pictures facing down. I'm burning all the letters hoping that I might forget you and the bad taste that you left. You changed yourself and I changed me.

I really didn't see us singing through this. You smiled the whole way through it, I guess maybe that's what's worse.

I'm taking all your memories off the shelf and I don't need you or anybody else. So take a look at me, see what you want to see.

Take me home, you have a problem with the truth. Take me home, because this happens every time. I knew it would.




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

I'm just so tired...

I'm tired of the BS.

I'm tired of the excuses.

I'm tired of the double standard.

I'm tired of all the shit that comes along with this.

I am near the end here. Sometimes, I sit and I weigh my options. Yes or no. Wrong or right. Continue or stop. Sadly, I've been leaning towards the no's, the wrong's, and stopping. This is taking up way too much energy. And why should I stand for this? What did I do? What am I doing?

I'm a good person. Anything that makes me feel like I am less than a good person (when I know I'm not) has no room in my life. So it bugs me when I waste time thinking about stuff like this.

Why do things have to be so complicated? I don't get it.

I'm just so tired...and I don't know what to do.

Some things are hard to break

Ah yes, finally, the weekend is here. Let the epic-ness begin.

Anyways, that isn't the real reason I'm writing this. I'm writing because I was pleasantly surprised by something last night, and whenever it graces my mind, I smile about it.

The situation was handled very maturely. It was damn near the last straw for me. I was reciting the things I would say in my head, planning just how I wanted it to go, and I was prepping myself for the result. But, in the end, it wasn't necessary.

I'm impressed to say the least, and quite happy. Some things are just hard to break, I guess.

And I suppose that this thing...yes, it was made to last.

All fired up!

I'm running on pure adrenaline right now. I've stayed up til 4am the past two nights, with minimal sleep.

I had an exam tonight in my human development class, I was falling asleep reading some of the questions because they were so damn long and wordy! Eff that class!

Ok so, I have minimal work the rest of the week, meaning minimal stress. All I have to do is be wise with my spending to save up for Canada.

Here is what I'm looking forward to most this week: Testing at lift (aka kicking ass, went up 25 lbs today on my power clean, and jumped 1.5 inches higher on my vert test! yes!). Kristin and I get to film our project. No event staffing this week.

Now here is my weekend: Niagara on Friday night! Jock Jams Saturday night! Jack's Mannequin on Sunday! AH!

It shall be EPIC.

It's crunch time

5 page paper. Exam tomorrow night. Financial crisis.



I wish sometimes I could just go away for a while.

"Fuxk girlsa" ...first text in my inbox

It's 3am and I'm still not in bed. I have class at 10. Why am I not sleeping? Because I'm in college, that's why.

Today was great. Made a new friend in study hall that will compliment Kristin and I quite well :)

As for project meow, fuck this shit I'm horrible and I should just quit. But not really cuz I like a challenge. Duh.

Stress level for today: non-existent. Let us keep it that way.

Just like heaven

I took a nap today after I wrote that "I'm basically stress free today!" post. Then I woke up feeling the complete opposite. My dreams are so realistic it scares me awake. I wrote something in my livejournal last week (ash_garv_32, check it) that I am still reciting in my head...

"Life is so complicated. One day you can feel like you're making so much progress in the right direction. Then one small thing can happen and it's like you're back to square one."

Well today my "one small thing" was my dream. Awake, I can convince myself of almost anything. It's just when I lie asleep, my brain shows me through my dreams the reality of everything. I swear, you were really there and you were living and breathing beside me. You felt as strongly as I did. You didn't have regrets. Suspended in this moment, I was happy.

Then I woke up. I thought to myself, "It was just a dream...no, a nightmare. Get over it." After lying there for a while and just existing, I peeled myself off my sheets and got the fuck over it.

Bigger and better things

This weekend was spectacular. Stress free. Had a great time.

Today was great as well. It's Kristin's birthday so we went to State Street Diner to combat our nasty hangovers from the festivities of last night.

Today was stress free, until I realized that I have a million things coming up by next monday. I have a paper, a test, a quiz...time to get a head start and brainstorm that paper.

And operation MEOW is in full effect. It's time to move on and I won't quit 'til I get what (or who, one person in particular) I want. Kristin will be stepping in as my wingman to give me all the help I can get...hahaha.

Should be interesting.

Money ain't a thing...but really, it is.

Very stressed today. I woke up to an email from my mom about school and finances and blah blah blah. Not a very good way to start your day.

What stressed me the most today was thinking about school. How am I gonna do this semester? What am I taking next semester? Can I take some winter courses? The answer is "I don't know".

Also, the fact that I have no money (literally) bothers me. However, I got a job on campus...so hopefully things will turn around in that department.

Sometimes, all I need are my friends. I love being around all of them. So tonight is all about good cheer and de-stressing myself with all of my favorite people :-)

Until next time...

And the reason is...

Welcome to the limit.


Here and henceforth, I will be blogging (just say it with me...BLOOOOGGGGGINGGGGG...love it) daily about my stress and the stuff that causes it.


As much as I'd love to say that this isn't for a class, I can't. Damn.


Today's status: Stress-free so far. Slept like shit last night because I had bad dreams. AND MY EYE IS STILL TWITCHING.