Everything I do, all the success I may have...
It's for you. It's all for you.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Friendship.
...it's the best.
There's nothing better than having a Sober Saturday with some of your best friends, while also sharing this time with some new friends.
It's 4:30am right now. I'm not drunk. I'm not high. And I'm not even tired. God, I love nights like these. :)
There's nothing better than having a Sober Saturday with some of your best friends, while also sharing this time with some new friends.
It's 4:30am right now. I'm not drunk. I'm not high. And I'm not even tired. God, I love nights like these. :)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Down, down, down...
Life in general is starting to take a toll on me.
My body is trying to tell me to slow down a little bit, I think. I haven't been feeling too great the past two days. I feel very tired during the day, and I am unmotivated at practice. I feel like I'm getting a cold.
My leg is still infected...and sliding today on the turf at the baseball field certainly did not feel good on it. My shoulder is giving me serious issues. It hurts every day. It feels like it needs one good pop and then it will be ok. Who knows, I just need it to be fine enough to play. As long as it stays in its socket, that's fine with me.
On a different subject...
I know I've always gone for people who are older than me, but is 4/5 years too much? Its just a weird situation. Innocent, but weird. We'll see how things unfold, I suppose.
My body is trying to tell me to slow down a little bit, I think. I haven't been feeling too great the past two days. I feel very tired during the day, and I am unmotivated at practice. I feel like I'm getting a cold.
My leg is still infected...and sliding today on the turf at the baseball field certainly did not feel good on it. My shoulder is giving me serious issues. It hurts every day. It feels like it needs one good pop and then it will be ok. Who knows, I just need it to be fine enough to play. As long as it stays in its socket, that's fine with me.
On a different subject...
I know I've always gone for people who are older than me, but is 4/5 years too much? Its just a weird situation. Innocent, but weird. We'll see how things unfold, I suppose.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
It's the most wonderful time of the year!!!!!!1
So softball has officially taken over my life now. Practice 6 days per week, lifting twice per week, long practices on the weekends...oi.
We had our first scrimmage today (OUTSIDE, BRRR) and it was awesome. Considering my first at-bat was a 3 run homer to right field off Ali, I'd say I'm off to a pretty good start! Then I walked, then I hit a really hard line drive at Dev that she couldn't field, then I hit a single to right to bring in the game-winning run in the last inning. The team I was on (the red team) won 10-9 after holding off the white squad in the bottom of the last inning. Woo wooooo.
This year, I think we are going to rely on our bats pretty heavily. Our defense is great, don't get me wrong, but we're still lacking the true #3 pitcher in our rotation. Right now, it looks as if it will be Nikki, a walk-on freshman. She's pretty good.
But what will win us our games will definitey be our big sticks and timely hitting. Here's the batting order and positions I think Coach Blood should do:
1. Devon - 2B. A real good leadoff batter who can definitely start things early for us.
2. Marissa - LF. A slapper who can bunt/slap and just put the ball in play for us.
3. Aly - SS. Power hitter capable of driving in runs if she doesn't freak out.
4. Elise - 3B. Hot and cold sometimes...but when she's hot she's on fire.
5. Me - 1B. I make good contact. I'm working on becoming more of a power hitter though.
6. Jessy - RF. When she hits the ball she hits it HARD.
7. Keener - DP. She's a frosh but she can fricken rip the ball.
8. Meg - CF. This girl can hit the ball farther than I've ever seen.
9. Vanessa - C. When she makes contact its good. It's just a matter of staying on a hot streak.
I doubt this will be the actual order that we will post come game-time...but whatever. It's just what I feel is the best for the team, based on what I saw in the scrimmage today. Who knows what goes on in Coach's mind...he sees things way different than we do.
Anyways, softball is great. It provides me with a concrete schedule and I find that I'm a better student during season. The social aspect of life calms down a bit, but I still find some quality "me time" on some Wednesday or Thursday nights...lol.
And as much as the green room sucks...it's way better than the freezing cold weather outside :)
We had our first scrimmage today (OUTSIDE, BRRR) and it was awesome. Considering my first at-bat was a 3 run homer to right field off Ali, I'd say I'm off to a pretty good start! Then I walked, then I hit a really hard line drive at Dev that she couldn't field, then I hit a single to right to bring in the game-winning run in the last inning. The team I was on (the red team) won 10-9 after holding off the white squad in the bottom of the last inning. Woo wooooo.
This year, I think we are going to rely on our bats pretty heavily. Our defense is great, don't get me wrong, but we're still lacking the true #3 pitcher in our rotation. Right now, it looks as if it will be Nikki, a walk-on freshman. She's pretty good.
But what will win us our games will definitey be our big sticks and timely hitting. Here's the batting order and positions I think Coach Blood should do:
1. Devon - 2B. A real good leadoff batter who can definitely start things early for us.
2. Marissa - LF. A slapper who can bunt/slap and just put the ball in play for us.
3. Aly - SS. Power hitter capable of driving in runs if she doesn't freak out.
4. Elise - 3B. Hot and cold sometimes...but when she's hot she's on fire.
5. Me - 1B. I make good contact. I'm working on becoming more of a power hitter though.
6. Jessy - RF. When she hits the ball she hits it HARD.
7. Keener - DP. She's a frosh but she can fricken rip the ball.
8. Meg - CF. This girl can hit the ball farther than I've ever seen.
9. Vanessa - C. When she makes contact its good. It's just a matter of staying on a hot streak.
I doubt this will be the actual order that we will post come game-time...but whatever. It's just what I feel is the best for the team, based on what I saw in the scrimmage today. Who knows what goes on in Coach's mind...he sees things way different than we do.
Anyways, softball is great. It provides me with a concrete schedule and I find that I'm a better student during season. The social aspect of life calms down a bit, but I still find some quality "me time" on some Wednesday or Thursday nights...lol.
And as much as the green room sucks...it's way better than the freezing cold weather outside :)
Monday, February 2, 2009
Open your eyes
My bones ache, my skin feels cold. I'm getting so tired and so old.
Get up, get out, get away from these liars. Because they don't get your soul or your fire.
Every minute from this minute now, we can do what we like anywhere.
Get up, get out, get away from these liars. Because they don't get your soul or your fire.
Every minute from this minute now, we can do what we like anywhere.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Ripe.
It's weird because...I think I'm going through somewhat of a transition in my life.
I look around and all I see are people who I cannot stand the thought of. Congrats, you go out and get shitfaced 4 times per week. You know what? Right now I'm completely satisfied with going out once, maybe twice, per week and having one or two drinks. I'm just so tired. I can't live like this anymore.
I don't have the energy to put up with people anymore. Right now I'm at a point in my life where I would rather stay in and watch a movie than go out to a party. I'm maturing, I guess.
I spoke with some teammates today, the conversation went a little something like this:
Me: I don't think I want to go out tonight.
A: Yeah, me neither.
Me: It's come to the point where I'm just too tired to go out.
D: I agree, it takes a lot out of you.
A: Yeah it totally does.
Me: We're getting old. My body can't deal with drinking anymore. I'm thinking about doing a semi-dry season this year.
D: Me too. I don't want to drink...only occassionally, you know?
Me: I agree. I'm too old for this shit...
On another note. I was hitting today and my shoulder popped. It is very rare. But it happens usually at least once per season. It was extremely painful. I'm going to be sore, I know that. There's nothing I can do. I'm not going to tell the coaches or anyone because that will create more problems. For now I'll just deal and put on lots and lots of ice. Woo hoo.
I look around and all I see are people who I cannot stand the thought of. Congrats, you go out and get shitfaced 4 times per week. You know what? Right now I'm completely satisfied with going out once, maybe twice, per week and having one or two drinks. I'm just so tired. I can't live like this anymore.
I don't have the energy to put up with people anymore. Right now I'm at a point in my life where I would rather stay in and watch a movie than go out to a party. I'm maturing, I guess.
I spoke with some teammates today, the conversation went a little something like this:
Me: I don't think I want to go out tonight.
A: Yeah, me neither.
Me: It's come to the point where I'm just too tired to go out.
D: I agree, it takes a lot out of you.
A: Yeah it totally does.
Me: We're getting old. My body can't deal with drinking anymore. I'm thinking about doing a semi-dry season this year.
D: Me too. I don't want to drink...only occassionally, you know?
Me: I agree. I'm too old for this shit...
On another note. I was hitting today and my shoulder popped. It is very rare. But it happens usually at least once per season. It was extremely painful. I'm going to be sore, I know that. There's nothing I can do. I'm not going to tell the coaches or anyone because that will create more problems. For now I'll just deal and put on lots and lots of ice. Woo hoo.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Desperate.
All I want to do is go to this cafe. What the heck.
It's in the Home Dairy Co. building on State St., it's called the Mate Factor. But there's a little accent on the E, so it's pronounced, "mat-ay".
It's run by a cult called Twelve Tribes. They have a cafe located in Plymouth, and they are the most friendly people EVER!!! If you befriend them, they invite you for a delicious dinner at their house. And they have the BEST bread...mmm.
I'm ready to go by myself, damnit.
It's in the Home Dairy Co. building on State St., it's called the Mate Factor. But there's a little accent on the E, so it's pronounced, "mat-ay".
It's run by a cult called Twelve Tribes. They have a cafe located in Plymouth, and they are the most friendly people EVER!!! If you befriend them, they invite you for a delicious dinner at their house. And they have the BEST bread...mmm.
I'm ready to go by myself, damnit.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Oh, it's been a while.
Been doing some thinking. I was told today that I "skate through life", referring to how I perform at Cornell.
Fuck yes I do. My motto is to work smart, not hard. Does it really even matter in the end? I still get my diploma, so long as I have a passing GPA.
And really, later on in life, this is how I see things:
I'm in an interview. There's two people interviewing for this position...myself and another. So-and-so person #2 went to a DIII no-name college and graduated with a 3.7 (woop dee fucken doo).
Now, here I am. I've got a good personality. AND my resume says I graduated from Cornell fucken University, the DI Ivy powerhouse, making no-name over there look as insignificant as an ant. Do the grades I got matter in this interview? No. Because I still have a piece of paper with my name on it that says that I graduated from Cornell.
I'm pompous as fuck sometimes, but I have every right to be. Just look where I go to school, bitch.
So fuck all of you.
Fuck yes I do. My motto is to work smart, not hard. Does it really even matter in the end? I still get my diploma, so long as I have a passing GPA.
And really, later on in life, this is how I see things:
I'm in an interview. There's two people interviewing for this position...myself and another. So-and-so person #2 went to a DIII no-name college and graduated with a 3.7 (woop dee fucken doo).
Now, here I am. I've got a good personality. AND my resume says I graduated from Cornell fucken University, the DI Ivy powerhouse, making no-name over there look as insignificant as an ant. Do the grades I got matter in this interview? No. Because I still have a piece of paper with my name on it that says that I graduated from Cornell.
I'm pompous as fuck sometimes, but I have every right to be. Just look where I go to school, bitch.
So fuck all of you.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Before everything, I remember this.
"I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
'Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road,
I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down."
'Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road,
I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down."
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Survey says...
Will you be looking for a new job? Nope, love my job. Event staff, what?
Will you be looking for a new relationship? Already have one :) just gotta play my cards right this time
New house? Nah 711 is where it's at.
What will you do different in 2009? Put myself before others, instead of acting like a door mat.
New Years resolution? Play the field.
What will you not be doing in 2009? Sucking at softball/life lol
Any trips planned? Well if you count all the places we got for softball...lots of places.
Wedding plans? fuck no
What's on your calendar? About 50 games. Trip to San Fran, eventually. Turning 21.
What can't you wait for? Turning 21 in July. Can't wait for season to start.
What would you like to see happen different? Lets win fucken Ivies this year.
What about yourself will you be changing? A lot of shit
What happened in '08 that you didn't think would ever happen? I dated a straight girl. Never again. hahahahahahah J/K
Will you be nicer to the people you care about? Of course, unless they deserve otherwise.
Will you dress differently this year than you did in 08? I'm gonna try to wear jeans more. But I'm definitely not leaving behind the teagle sweats and cornell softball gear lol
Are you going to be in school in 09? Unfortunately.
How will you make more money in 09? EVENT STAFF, bitch. Hoodrat shit.
Will you do charity work? Yeah with the team
Will you be nice to people you don't know? Of course.
Do you expect 2009 to be a worse year for you than 2008? No, 2008 fucken sucked. I'm gonna pretend it didn't happen. Nowhere to go but up.
How much did you change from this time last year til now? A little bit. I dont know, I'm a year older.
Do you plan on having a child? Not this year, but eventually.
Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now? Hopefully, I love my friends.
Major lifestyle changes? Nah, still in school. But I am turning 21.
Will you be moving? Nope, p-rock and ith is where I'm at.
What will you make sure doesn't happen in 2009 that happened in 08? I dont even want to get into it. 2008 didn't even happen, remember?
Wishes for 2009: Live life to the fullest. Win. Succeed.
Will you be looking for a new relationship? Already have one :) just gotta play my cards right this time
New house? Nah 711 is where it's at.
What will you do different in 2009? Put myself before others, instead of acting like a door mat.
New Years resolution? Play the field.
What will you not be doing in 2009? Sucking at softball/life lol
Any trips planned? Well if you count all the places we got for softball...lots of places.
Wedding plans? fuck no
What's on your calendar? About 50 games. Trip to San Fran, eventually. Turning 21.
What can't you wait for? Turning 21 in July. Can't wait for season to start.
What would you like to see happen different? Lets win fucken Ivies this year.
What about yourself will you be changing? A lot of shit
What happened in '08 that you didn't think would ever happen? I dated a straight girl. Never again. hahahahahahah J/K
Will you be nicer to the people you care about? Of course, unless they deserve otherwise.
Will you dress differently this year than you did in 08? I'm gonna try to wear jeans more. But I'm definitely not leaving behind the teagle sweats and cornell softball gear lol
Are you going to be in school in 09? Unfortunately.
How will you make more money in 09? EVENT STAFF, bitch. Hoodrat shit.
Will you do charity work? Yeah with the team
Will you be nice to people you don't know? Of course.
Do you expect 2009 to be a worse year for you than 2008? No, 2008 fucken sucked. I'm gonna pretend it didn't happen. Nowhere to go but up.
How much did you change from this time last year til now? A little bit. I dont know, I'm a year older.
Do you plan on having a child? Not this year, but eventually.
Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now? Hopefully, I love my friends.
Major lifestyle changes? Nah, still in school. But I am turning 21.
Will you be moving? Nope, p-rock and ith is where I'm at.
What will you make sure doesn't happen in 2009 that happened in 08? I dont even want to get into it. 2008 didn't even happen, remember?
Wishes for 2009: Live life to the fullest. Win. Succeed.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Stolen. (Note the clever double meaning behind that word)
"I just want to say, before I fuck up and lose it, that this feeling? Is a very, very, very fine feeling.
And that if I DO fuck up and lose it...I should remember how great it is to wake up with butterflies and bite your nails by the phone and say good night."
And that if I DO fuck up and lose it...I should remember how great it is to wake up with butterflies and bite your nails by the phone and say good night."
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tyler Durden
"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me.
I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck.
I am smart, capable, and most importantly...I am free in all the ways that you are not."
I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck.
I am smart, capable, and most importantly...I am free in all the ways that you are not."
Saturday, December 27, 2008
This is new.
I feel so free.
Nothing can take this away.
And season starts so soon. I am SO pumped. WOOOOOOOOO!!! :)
Nothing can take this away.
And season starts so soon. I am SO pumped. WOOOOOOOOO!!! :)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Now I know.
I realize now that I'm not the one that you think of when you lie your head down to sleep.
I'm not the one you dream of while you're sleeping.
I'm not the one that occupies your thoughts day in and day out.
I'm not the one you want.
I'm just not the one.
I'm not the one you dream of while you're sleeping.
I'm not the one that occupies your thoughts day in and day out.
I'm not the one you want.
I'm just not the one.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Don't trust me.
"Black dress with the tights underneath, I got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth.
Tongue's always pressed to your cheeks, while my tongue is on the inside of some other girls teeth. Tell your boyfriend if he says hes got beef that I'm a vegetarian.
X's on the back of your hands, wash them in the bathroom to drink like the bands. Bruises cover your arms, shaking in the fingers with the bottle in your palm. The best is, no one knows who you are. Just another girl alone at the bar.
She wants to touch me. She wants to love me. She'll never leave me.
Shush girl, shut your lips. Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips."
I'm in an interesting mood tonight. And that last line is killer, it gets me every time.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Beep beep
Sometimes I feel like the biggest fuckface on the planet.
Then I realize that I'm not doing anything wrong.
Thank God break is here.
Then I realize that I'm not doing anything wrong.
Thank God break is here.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Do or die.
Tonight decides everything.
If everything goes well/repeat of Fri. night...sweeeeeeeeet that would be awesome. :)
If not, shit. That blows. :(
If everything goes well/repeat of Fri. night...sweeeeeeeeet that would be awesome. :)
If not, shit. That blows. :(
Saturday, December 13, 2008
It's just not fair
Right when I think I'm back on my feet again, ready to be done with this...you knock me right back down again. And I fall to the same exact spot where you've had me for far too long.
I'm taking steps in the right direction (and I have the, um, "marks" to prove it). But really, I get tangled up in some interesting things. Another one with an attachment elsewhere? Just my luck.
Ugh, sometimes I just need an escape. Hence why I do some of the things that I do. When my brain is emptied of all the issues and then filled with smoke, everything in this life seems so frivolous.
I want simplicity. I want relaxation.
I. want. freedom.
I'm taking steps in the right direction (and I have the, um, "marks" to prove it). But really, I get tangled up in some interesting things. Another one with an attachment elsewhere? Just my luck.
Ugh, sometimes I just need an escape. Hence why I do some of the things that I do. When my brain is emptied of all the issues and then filled with smoke, everything in this life seems so frivolous.
I want simplicity. I want relaxation.
I. want. freedom.
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